The Day the World Ended (in my mind)

No make up me with the crazy kid brigade.

Riley says that I think differently than other people. Sometimes this is said with a smile, other times with a straight face and quick shake of the head.

I can be a bit crazy.

Take yesterday…

It had already been a bang-a-rang of a day. It started with an early morning Wal-Mart run. The kids were upset and the fluorescents did my already tired, how much day is there left eyes no favors. I spent thirty dollars more than I planned to on “MOM! I HAVE NEVER HAD PRINGLES! THEY LOOK AMAZING!” and “THAT TRAMPOLINE IS FULL OF BALLS! WE DON’T HAVE A BALL OR A TRAMPOLINE!” and “MINE? MINE? MINE?” kind of emergencies. What can I say? I was in a weak state and the little gremlins could smell it on me. (We got the ball, not the trampoline and that last exclamation was courtesy of Viola.)

Then there was playing outside and cleaning the kitchen and spilling otter pops outside and being upset that the otter pops spilled and “Is that all the nap you are going to take? Really?”. (All of this was interspersed with delightful visits with both Alison and Lizzie. I love those girls.)

By three pm, I was ready for a few hits of Diet Dr Pepper and a handful of chocolate but we still had a trip to Costco on the docket. When I started the car I was greeted with a bone dry gas tank. So we put putted our way to the gas station while I said things like, “I can’t run the air conditioner because we have no gas. I know it is hot. You will be ok. WE WILL ALL BE OK!”

Our destination accomplished and the girls pacified with water bottles, I began the seemingly simple task of filling the gas tank. Except for simple was the last thing it was, because this is how the thoughts spilled out of my head….

Oh man, Zuzu was right. It is hot out here. I am so glad we have air conditioning. I mean, I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world without it, but it sure is nice. Huh. The end of the world. That’s a phrase that gets used a lot. I guess people are built for hyperbole. Although…I suppose nothing goes on forever. I mean…it has to end sometime. What would that mean? Does the end of the world have to mean the end of earth or would it really just mean the end of current circumstance? In the former there isn’t much one could do, is there? Unless of course, we had colonized Mars by the time it happened. But in the latter, if one was prepared, I guess you could make do. Man. What if it was the “end of the world” today? Would we be ready? We would definitely need to drive to my parent’s house. But that is forty miles away. Oh my gosh. Wouldn’t it be tragic if we had to get out there, but I hadn’t put enough gas in the car the day before the end of the world? I mean it is the end of civilization, where would I get gas? Where would we get anything? WHERE WOULD WE GET DIET COKE? What if rescue and water was just forty miles away but an empty gas tank kept us from it? Man, I would never forgive myself. Maybe I better fill all the way up today. I mean it could be the end of the world. Everything could be hinging on THIS gas station trip! And my decision to spend the extra thirty dollars to fill up my tank could mean the difference between a life of relative plenty for my girls or a life of living on what has become a figurative island of crime and hunger! So much can hang on one seemingly inconsequential decision! Everything we do matters! 

But….

It is really hot out here. And filling up the car will take another four minutes AT LEAST. And those Costco churros aren’t going to buy themselves.

Hmmmm. Today’s probably not the end of the world.

I’ll fill up the gas tank tomorrow.

So, I live with a brain that thinks the end of the world is a probable event and decides to put off relative safety for a couple of churros. There is so much wrong with that sentence I can’t even begin to analyze it.

I guess I just think differently than other people.