The Baconator


the face of a crazy person

I think you can tell a lot about your current state of life by the dreams you have at night. Last night was rough. I'm a little fevered, a little sore throated, a bit on the rough side of things. I didn'tsleep much but when I did my dreams went like this,

Sitting in the third row of a large white conference room. Surrounded by fashionable men and women, each sharing the same level of high, high, HIGH excitement. Our mystery keynote speaker must be a treat, indeed. I see Zuzu sitting up on one of two chairs on the stage. She waves at me and then mimes that she wants some fruit snacks. I dig in my purse and toss some to her. Thumbs up. Then the room grows quiet and out steps Martha Stewart. Kind of a let down but! Let's see what she has to say. While she talks Zuzu continues to sit behind her. Taking notes and flashing me "I love you" hand signals. Apparently, this is too distracting as Martha turns around and tells Zuzu that if she doesn't stop she is going to have to take her outside and spank her. So then I stand up, run to the podium tell Martha Stewart that if she ever threatens to touch my daughter - if she ever even speaks to my daughter again! - I will make her life miserable. And then I throw a package of bacon at her face while I grab Zuzu and run out the door.

Yes, in my dreams I throw bacon at Martha Stewart.

Ummmm...What the hell does that say about my current life situation?