Lean Mean Meggie Machine

Oh, look at that Nanette Lepore. Look at it! 

This week I am starting a 12 week program that will help me regain energy, get into that Nanette Lepore skirt that hasn’t fit me since I had babies and give me wings that will fly me to whipped cream clouds that I don’t even feel like tasting because I am just that in control. I know just what you are thinking, “She thinks she is going to fit into that skirt again? Talk about impossible.”

Except for maybe, just maybe, it’s not. A friend of mine introduced me to Lean Moms and I have to say I am sold on the concept. No starvation, lots of exercise, tutorials and support calls to get you from “yawn, how many donuts have I had today? oh, I am so sleepy…” to “I am a dream building, weight lifting machine that…wait is that a donut? Okay. I will have JUST ONE.” At first the Lean Mom’s program seemed intimidating. There are before and after pictures! Lots of vegetables! SWEATING! I mean, my goodness, who do they think I am? And then I lived through a day where I lost the keys at the grocery store (THEY WERE IN MY DIAPER BAG THE ENTIRE TIME), my car battery died (JUMPER CABLES ARE TERRIFYING) and both children threw up…on me (NEED I SAY MORE).  That night, after I had washed the smell of vomit out of my hair for the third time I realized that my everyday life is much harder than any get fit program. And every day I survive. Leg presses? With the added benefit of calves that don’t quit? A (sugar, gluten, fat free) cake walk.

So I signed up for Lean Moms last night and started the registration process. As I typed the information into my phone I felt liberated! Yes, this was just what I needed. A little something to see to the end just for me. A boost for a mom that just feels so mom-ish sometimes. An excuse to finally get some cute gym clothes. When it was time to pick a username I went with Riley’s favorite nickname for me, Meggipie. Only my auto correct changed Meggipie to Meggi Wipe (because that is a thing?) and I pressed submit before I saw the change.

And so I begin the journey to a healthier-yes-my-bum-IS-looking-good-today me with a handle that sounds at once infantile and vaguely obscene. Meggi Wipe.  What can I say? I’ve been called worse by people I like better.

Here’s to 12 weeks of showing myself just what I can do. (And my goodness, I think it might be a lot.)

Postscript: After a desperate plea for help, the ever lovely Lacy of Lean Moms fame changed my username back to meggipie. Riley is mourning the return of my dignity accordingly.

Postscript's Postcript: This post was sponsored by Lean Moms but the can do attitude and tendency to get myself in embarrassing situations are all mine.