I live in this really adorable 1920’s bungalow. It’s all red brick and original wood floors and project after project after bleeping project. It is also about as efficient as you’d expect something built in the same decade that gave us Daisy Buchanan to be. In the winter we wear sweaters and pretend the extra chill in the air is helping our metabolisms. By Spring, I’ve forgotten the discomfort. Everything is idyllic. Until July. And then the blasted heat sweeps in - pouring into the cracks of our little house, roasting through our brick walls, settling on us in the middle of the never ending sweat drenched night.
We have an air conditioner. It is brand new. And pumps its chill through the house with admirable determination. The problem is that it cools indiscriminately. So, you know, the basement is usually freezing. The front room is always hot (windows! poor insulation!) and the rest of the upstairs is some sad middle ground - like there is perspiration on my top lip but it hasn’t yet gotten to the point of sweat pouring down my back. And all the while our energy bills are big enough to make my face look like a surprised anime character every darn time I open one of them.
“I know, I know - Meg! You should close and open the vents in your house to control the airflow! Direct it to where you are and keep it from cooling the rooms you aren’t currently using.”
Man! That sounds great. But I am not about to walk around my house closing and opening all the different vents 15 times a day to redirect the air to the routinely occupied locations. It’s just not going to happen. Also? I’m not always home. I guess I could leave detailed instructions for vent control for the family members and sitters that take charge of the place when I am not there. But that seems a little crazy. Could you imagine?
Open master bedroom vent
Close kitchen vent
Open left family room vent
Close right family room vent
Open kids bedroom vent
Close downstairs bathroom vent
Open upstairs bathroom vent
Open office vent for 15 minutes so the room cools down just a little and then close office vent….until 10:30 when I will want it open again.
And on and on and on.
Now, here is the part where I thank the Gods of Crowdfunding. They’ve given us the perfect hoodie, more wallets than you can shake a stick at and now, finally, we’ve been presented with a perfectly affordable way to banish upstairs sweaty lip and frigid basements.
Hello, E Vent.
Yeah. Vents that are programmed from your phone to open and close THEMSELVES. And they’ll provide the same efficiency of a $20,000 air flow control system for only 25 bucks each. But right now on Kickstarter, you can get them two at a time for only $38. Thermal control, microprocessors, intuitive overrides and programming from an app. This is like something from the future and my home from the past desperately needs it. Guys. Let’s all buy some, huh? Let’s kickstart the hell out of this thing so that I can finally live in an environment that makes sense. One that doesn’t simultaneously require a jacket and a tank top. Pretty, pretty please?
My sweaty upper lip thanks you.
Hey, Meg. Is this a sponsored post?
Nope. I am friends with the co-creator of E Vent, but when he offered to give me some vents, I said “No! I am buying them from your kickstarter so that I help fund this beautiful climate controlled dream.”
And then I did.