Look at that wall behind me. No pictures. And that table beside me. No popcorn. Houston, we have a problem.
Oh, man. Guys. GUYS! I should sit here and write about all the things I learned this week. That is what Friday's are for, you know. But all I can think about is the Diet Coke I am not drinking (off of it) and the things I still need to do (finish outline, draft new outline, actually write the things that I have outlined). Also. Popcorn. Why is there no popcorn in this house? What is a house without popcorn, I ask? Nothing.
A house without popcorn is nothing.
I am still trying to decide whether we should have a baby. Between you and me, I don't really want one. Not now. Maybe not ever. But if I have learned anything while my family faced down cancer, it is the value of a support system. My children's siblings will be their greatest safety net. So I think I should produce a few more. One more. Someday. Maybe. I think.
Also? I feel like it is time for something drastic. I get like this once in awhile. Ready to dye my hair pink or quit all social networks or, you know, sit down to learn something. Only I can't get myself to sit down. Maybe not even long enough to dye my hair. It's a worry. I could quit instagram, but then what would I do when I am ignoring my kids? Maybe I should take up kickboxing. Or think about taking up kickboxing.
My home is full of pictures waiting to be hung. I know that means I am not where I should be. I know it means I have lost my center. I can feel it when I wake up, the weight of something I can't name. Although if I could, I imagine I would name it Algatha. An ugly name for a familiar thing. (Unless of course you are reading and your name happens to be Algatha. In which case, what a lovely name!) It has happened before, it will happen again. It is not a matter of great concern, just little niggling concerns that only leave me alone when I am sleeping or watching Dr. Who or reading books set in places I've never been filled with people I'll never meet.
I think I will go to the store and buy some popcorn. Put it in a pot on the stove and shake, shake, shake while it pop, pop, pops. Maybe all the shaking will knock me into place. Maybe not.
Either way, there'll be popcorn. And that isn't a bad thing.