These tights were supposed to bring on the spring. It didn't work.
A few things I learned this week.
Love is an ever expanding never dividing sort of thing. When Riley drove me to the hospital to have our Viola I cried into the cold window. I was so afraid of not loving this new little girl the way that I loved her sister. Nearly a year and half later and I am so far removed from that fear I can't even understand it from a distance. Viola is all smiles and sweet and don't make a wrong move because she will bite your finger off...really. She knocks me over with her big smile and "HI GUYS!" when I walk into a room and picks me back up again with sloppy kisses and neck nuzzles. She has my whole heart and Zuzu has my whole heart and every day (even the hard ones) I thank the Lord for the room He has made inside of me for each of them.
There is no such thing as a good homemade pastrami sandwich. Not unless you brine your own meat and own an industrial meat slicer or happen to live behind the counter of a NY based Jewish deli. (A Jewish deli is one of my top ten dream places to live by the way. You know, a little cottage situated between the rye and homemade pickles). While we were California we went to The Hat for a late night bite. As far as pastrami goes The Hat provides a meat that ranks maybe a 7 out of 10. But it was good enough. And now I am in Utah, a pastrami desert. And it hurts. And I am hungry.
Sometimes what you are doing really is just enough and you have to be willing to let go of everything else. My life is full right now, bursting with the bitter and the sweet. I feel keenly every possibility I let tumble by, every friend that deserves a call and every moment that wasn't the way it could have been. My house is dusty and my children are generally messy. I haven't made cookies with my babies since the fall. Riley leaves work tired and comes to a home that still needs laundry done and the calmness of his bigger hands. I am tired.
After a good conversation with a better friend this last week I decided to make peace with this season of my life.
I am doing what I can do and (for the most part) I am doing it with a smile.
And maybe right now, that really is enough.
Here's to a weekend of love for you and yours.
All photos are from this weeks ever exciting instagram feed. Find me @Meg_in_Progress!