Sometimes there are so many little hard things, life feels like one big hard thing. Because last week we found out we owe so much more money on something we thought we had paid off. An unhappy time for unexpected expenses. Because I lost the H&M gift card I have been saving for four months, the one that was supposed to buy all the girls fall clothes. I always lose everything and I hate that about myself. Because I can't seem to sleep more than four hours a night. So I am always really, very, can I sleep on your shoulder tired. My right eye has started twitching in protest against its' exhausted state. Which means I look tired AND crazy. Because I lost Riley's car keys. Did I mention how much I hate losing things? Because the 900 sq ft the four of us live in has seemed so small. And I have felt petty and selfish for feeling that. Don't I know how blessed I am to have anything to call my own? Because one of my best friends moved away. And I am going to miss sitting on her floor and talking about the big and little things. Because our computer was stolen, the one with all my family pictures and my little scribbled writings. I abhor the thought of someone I don't know looking at the photos of my little girls and little life.
Just such a violation.
At the end of a long week it is important to remember that all the little hard things, no matter how numerous, are still little. It is early and my girls are still asleep in their beds. My heavens, my girls. They are healthy and beautiful and warm. That is good. My husband, who is just as tired and worried as I am, woke up this morning and kissed me on the cheek. That is good. The weekend is nearly here. We can stay inside and make pancakes and watch old movies. That is good. This is just one moment out of many. That is good. I am the daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me and probably laughs gently at my definition of hard. Because if these are my problems then I am inordinately blessed. That is good. Yes, on the whole, in the things that truly matter, my life is everything lovely and undeservedly delightful.
And that is good.
Have a count your blessings weekend.