Yesterday a wasp got into our house. Just came in like I had invited it to tea, and oh my, while you are here why not terrorize me and the children? I have never been stung by a bee, yellow jacket, wasp, or hornet. Logically, I understand that when I do get stung someday, I will live through it. But when I am near one of those winged terrorists, logic flies (flies...get it? HA!) out the window. I just know I won't escape, NOT THIS TIME. I am sure the attack will hurt worse than labor. And I feel that I am just an instant away from an at home reenactment of the scene from My Girl where Macaulay Culkin is stung to death just to get the plot moving.
Which explains why I started acting like a crazy woman yesterday when Monsieur Wasp came to play. Yelling, Hey, Get out of here! seemed like it might be effective. And then I ducked, I weaved, I waved a pillow at the intruder while shielding my face with a blanket. Margaret came into the room and stared at me. Mommy? Ummm, are you okay? I stopped my defensive movements long enough to look at the scene through her eyes. I was running about the room, yelling with a blanket held above my head chasing...what exactly? She hadn't seen the wasp. Viola sat in the middle of woman staring at me, her pink little mouth wide open. I looked like a madwoman. Okay. Calm down Megan. You are scaring the children.
And then I heard the winged demon buzz right past my ear. I shrieked, grabbed a book off the desk and waved it wildly above my head as I chased that evil jester of the insect world right out the door. At this point Margaret was looking all around the room, ducking and weaving, Mommy? What are we hiding from? Do you see it? I can't see it! It was sweet really. Like, sure my mommy has gone crazy, but I don't want her to go there alone.
In all the excitement I hadn't looked at the book that helped vanquish the bug. When I finally did, I started to laugh. Margaret really looked concerned now. It was my copy of The Yellow Wallpaper, the classic tale of a young woman's descent into insanity.